想去又去唔到。。。

呢幾日Mommy 真係好Tire....

但係佢好想出去走走。。。

我明白有時都幾悶﹐成日要留向屋企....只希望快D 完晒成個Treatment processes, 可以出下街。

我要多謝碧姨星期三知道我有Show 要做﹐All the way 又Mississauga 過來Markham 陪 Mommy. Seriously, 多謝。。。。 !!!!

好喇﹐我要走啦。 Mom 好興奮去裝身﹐我哋去街啦﹗﹗﹗ bye bye...

5th Chemo (Feb 22)

5th Chemo:

Mom got into the CHEMO CLINIC around 9:15am. Yes. Today we were late. Mom didn't really want to be ONTIME heheehe!!! hehee! well.. I know... it is crazy.

Last night, when I asked Mom what time we should be there, the following was the conversation:

Percy: Mom, what time you wanna be there?
Mom: Well, I don't know. I should be there by 9:00am, what about 8:45am?
Percy: Mom, I will not drive that FAST for you as there will be lots of Police in the morning.
Mom: Ok... what about we leave home around 9:00am?
Percy: Mom, do you understand what I am talking about?

Anyway, Thank God for giving me a very smooth and safe trip to the hospital. There were just so many people ignored other on the traffic. I understand. They are not in the mood of driving when someone they know in the hospital.

Mom's veins were difficult to find. So Nurses was trying so many times.... Poor Mom... being poked more than twice. I felt so bad about that. However, Nurses still couldn't find it and end up They need ot put the HOT PAD on.

I unerstand how mom felt.

Anyway, after an hour, finally found the Veins and still working on the IV. Nurses were busy today as Monday and Tuesday patients combined.

Didn't want to talk too LONG... make it simple. We arrived at 9:15am and finished around 2:00pm.

Dear God,

Thank you for giving me another chance to go thru this experience with Mom. Please forgive me not having 100% patience with Mom. I was trying, but she was worrying something that she shouldn't. I was not handling things like that too well. Sorry about that. Thank you for your blessing. Seriously, Mom was worried, but you end up really take care of her one by one. I thank you. I am saying the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Percy

Discontinue the Drug

Went to see Dr. Tepperman yesterday. Good that we had a talk with him. He checked and confirmed MOM really had allergic reaction to the Drug. He decided mom should not use that drug anymore.
As mom's perspective, she was afraid will delay the processes and effects how she attends my wedding.
As my perspective, as long as she is ok. She is ok... Doesn't matter about my wedding.

However, Dr. suggested to go back to the drugs Mom took in the past 3 times. He said the result would not have a BIG different.

I was agreed. She is going back to the same drug. That was good in a way, I know Mom won't really have much side effects but only tire...

Mom should be ok. She went to do blood test today and I am sure everything should go smoothly.

Don't worry. She will be fine!

When you have time, you can give her a call. Just a short talk won't harm her that much.

PS: Please don't mention about my prayer couple days ago. She doesn't need to know about my worries. I am ok. Thank you for your prayers and kindness.

Draining out...

Dear God,

Forgive me not to talk to you earlier. Forgive me going through all those challenges without you. I am not counting you out. I need you, and you know it. I have been very depressed these days.

There are a lot of things happening recently. I am trying to please MOM as much as I can. I am supporting Ka Ho in all directions. I am giving my energy and time to help Kenneth's house closing. I am managing my wedding budget as well as my own family finance.

My heavenly father, I don't want to stress my Dad out as I should manage family finance better, but it seems like I am failing to do it. I am very sorry. Please help me. I do understand there is a lot of things I can't control. I am just trying to ensure my parents have worry-free in Canada side. Our new house is closing, at the same time, I need to clean up our current house, as well as making sure Mom is doing well. I am draining out my energy. I am lost in the money again.

Whatever mom can eat, I will buy it for her. You know I don't like wasting food. But however, I can't take too much carbohydrate in my diet. End up, there are number of food I have to throw them away. I really don't want to do it. It is very much NOT ME! Plus, Ka Ho is not home for food at all time... How should I NOT wasting the food at the same time, I really don't know. God, please help me... I don't want my family move to a new house BROKE. I really don't want to. Please help me to manage the money wisely. This is what you gave us. This is how you let me through ....

Please protect mom. Mom goes easy... she would eat whatever she wants... Please God, help us... help us... help me.... I don't want to think about it ... anymore... please hug me and arm around me... I am using all my energy to make Mom feel better...

Please God, give me some of your mercy... please... I really need it. There are so many nights I cried out LOUD in my bed... not letting Mom knows... I don't have a job to support... family ... People always think Dr.'s family should have lots of money. My Lord, they are so wrong, especially when the Dr always give out free of charge and free drugs to ..... God... please take away my anger... please do so...

In the name of Jesus Christ, ~Amen.

Meeting the Dr.

Mom is still allergic to the Chemo drug. I called so many times to the Clinic and Dr's office. End up ... talking about waiting for hours and hours...

Mom finally got the appt to see Dr. on Thursday morning. Hopefully will be fine and not to delay the whole processes.

Whoever looking for us, please don't call... Mom doesn't really wanna talk.
I don't wanna talk bcoz I have been busy with Mom' Closely monitor her....

Time to stop. Very tired.

called Nurses and Dr.

Mom was getting nervous about her side effects. End up she had an adnormal bleeding last night. Getting too nervous, so I called the Chemo Clinic and Dr. this morning...

Wait and wait... and waiting..... waiting... finally the nurse called and said all side effects are normal. However, She suggests to have some "over the counter" allergy drug for now and report to the Dr. to the up coming Chemo.

Mom felt much better after the nurse called. however, she went to HSBC and had a good late lunch with me. She had the beef tendon with Noodle and a good cup of soy milk. You know what... I was so happy that she ate something she liked. Some people asked her NOT to have soy milk. But ... to be honest... Whatever she wants to drink, she just drink it... don't worry about it. ...

She had a good time for the short trip. Good Good Good...
=)

Allergic to Chemo

Finally, I found out why Mom had all those sickness. She is allergic to Docetaxel.

Side effects:

1. Allergic reactions often occur. Signs of an allergic reaction are flushing, rash, itching, dizziness, swelling or breathing problems.
2. Fluid retention may occur. Signs of extra fluid build-up area swelling of feet, hands or belly; breathing problems; cough or rapid weight gain.
3. Nausea and vomiting may occur after your treatment. Most people have little or no nausea.
4. Diarrhea may occur
5. Fever may occur after treatment with docetaxel. Fever should last no longer than 24 hours.
6. Sore mouth may occur a few days after treatment. Mouth sores can occur on the tongue, the sides of the mouth or in the throat.
7. Rash may occur, mainly on the feet and hands, but also on arms, face or chest. The rash will generally clear by the time of the next treatment.
8. Nail changes such as change in colour may occur. Rarely, nails will loosen or fall off, or the nailbeds will be painful.

Mom almost have them all except water retention and fever. However, family Dr. can't do much but giving her some reactin. I can't do much, but giving her something to drink and let her feel better.. but I will need to communicate with the Dr. on Monday.

So... DON'T WORRY EVERYONE! Things will go away and Mom will get better. I am sure... She already passed 4 times... why not another 2? Don't give her pressure or pity. She doesn't need it, bcoz she has God's love as usual. She may be physically in pain, but she is still in good spirit.

PLUS, don't worry about Ka Ho and I. We are OK. We have our lives (BUSY lives) and we are trying our best to work on the schedule in order to make sure someone stay home to take care of mom.

Anyway, this is enough for today. I am tired...