Tuesday, December 7, 2010

當我走到無力再繼續落去時。。。

今日好似好長噤。。。





媽媽突然同我講﹕「我仲有幾多年丫﹖要錢定要一起既時間﹖」

做女既明佢講緊D乜野﹐但係我真係唔識點安慰佢。(如果你唔知我講乜﹐唔該睇完就算)

我寫呢篇文時好無奈﹐看見媽媽既背影行入房﹐我個心好酸。我既位係無得control﹐ 我只好叫佢唔好亂諗野 (因為我怕我亂諗野先)。

媽媽由朝到晚都膽心﹔擔心細路s讀書﹐擔心細路s面對既人生困難﹔擔心Daddy向香港既生活﹐擔心Daddy 面對既負擔﹔擔心我會唔會嫁得好﹐擔心我要當起呢頭家同時由要照顧將來自己頭家。。。

點解要甘擔心﹖細路s讀唔到書唔關你事﹐細路s將來都要學習面對人生既問題﹔點解要擔心Daddy﹖ Daddy 有佢既原因留向香港﹐有D野係迫唔到。點解要擔心我嫁得好唔好﹖我見到好多Work 唔到既婚姻問題﹐我會alert 同sensitive D﹐ 唔使擔心。。。

寫呢篇文時要好小心﹐因為唔想讀者意會錯我既原意。。。


慈愛既天父﹐
我站在你面前向你禱告。我心中好多唔開心既野﹐希望你攞開。我咁既心情唔可以cheer up Mommy﹐ 我需要你既幫助。我成日問你點解要放我向呢個家庭﹖一直到宜家我知道你想我去陪Mommy 過呢個時候。你教我要孝順父母﹐我真係日日夜夜去試﹔我就算發現幾多我唔想知既野﹐我都會去做我要做既野。天父﹐有時候覺得你呢個訓練真係好難好辛苦。我好想放棄﹐我好想不聞不問去做我自己﹐但係你永遠在我呼求時你更加攬得我好實﹐話我知你從來無放開我家上下﹐以我更加被你愛護。宜家我再次希望你俾我感受你幫我既feeling﹐我要企得住﹔就算無人同Mommy 一齊行呢條路﹐我都要好Positive 同Mommy 大步行﹐Mommy 愈覺無人在旁,希望你握住Mommy 隻手同我同佢行。天父﹐多謝你放Kenneth 在我們當中﹐當我唔好意思佢要勞心勞力幫Mommy 時﹐佢話可以照顧到Mommy 係佢既福。。。神呀﹐多謝你賜予我一個一個既天使幫手﹐多謝你。

以上既禱告係奉主耶穌的名而求 ~阿門。

5 comments:

  1. 『我的心,為何憂悶』 曲、詞 :盧永亨

    我的心,為何憂悶?你為何如此苦惱?
    人像墮進深淵,含著淚哭訴:圍住我是困倦煩躁。

    要等多久,方會天亮?試問誰人可知道?
    靈魂像已枯乾,無能力禱告,神啊,你是否看到?

    求給我力量堅定相信:
    陽光不見,但主的心意依然是最好;
    在幽谷中仍仰望、從深處求告,
    求你叫哀哭成為歌舞!
    請給我力量堅定相信:
    神必看顧,令我不致荊途上跌倒;
    逆境中可存盼望,尋找的必找到,
    願一生躺進你懷抱。
    (願一生倚靠你終老!)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bL3uNofZb8

    ReplyDelete
  2. Am not high tech...finally Ian showed me how to post a comment on the website.....Have been thinking about you....hope that you don't have to go out in the snow....it is a blessing not to drive on the 401 during rush hours in the snow....remember Psalm 139:9-10..He is always with us....Every morning, when I drive to work, I read the bible on the way

    ReplyDelete
  3. It is cold outside....have been thinking about you....remember to eat a lot of good food....& remember Psalm 139:9-10, He is always with us

    ReplyDelete
  4. My dear,
    I have the similar situation & experience before & even now, but I see & face it differently.
    As long as you try your best, you won't regret. As long as you give Lily your available support, it's good enough.
    Remember " we need to add life to years but not years to life" for you, Lily and all of us.

    ReplyDelete
  5. My dear,
    I have the same experience and situation before & even now, but I face it differently.
    As long as you try your best, you won't regret. As long as you give Lily your available support, it's good enough.
    Remember 'we need to add life to years but not years to life', it's always right for you, Lily & all of us.
    Lanly

    ReplyDelete